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putting the 'pro' in procrastination
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Danielle's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, January 10th, 2016
9:03 pm
King Kirby

Oh and last night I saw a good play- king Kirby. About Jack kirby, the comic book artist who created spiderman. It was really good. He was a conflicted character. He got screwed by the system, but he believed in it anyway. Maybe I will write more later, this is too hard from my phone.

Sunday, April 1st, 2012
9:39 pm
Persephone's words
Persephone is 13 months and has a lot of words. Here are the ones I can think of now:

poop- she says 'poop' whenever she has to pee or poop, or if she has already peed or pooped. this weekend i kept her diaper-free while we were at home (and not sleeping or eating in the high chair), and she didn't pee on the floor once- everything went in the potty.

yay!- ok all babies do this one, right?

daddy- she loves her daddy, and she just started saying it clear as a bell.

paige- i recognized that she was saying her sister's name today, though it sounds like "bay"

sky- whenever she points out the window she says "sky"

bye bye
woof- that's a word, right? it's her word for doggy.
uh oh
mommomomm (mom I really need you)
no (already we're getting this one a lot)
all-done (she says this while signing her special all-done sign)
me! (means "give me")
down (she says this and falls down to the ground, esp since learning ring around the rosie)
drop (a high chair favorite)
stop! (this one she learned from Paige)

I think that's it, though there might be more i'm forgetting.
Saturday, March 31st, 2012
9:26 pm
I just started a new community!
I just started a new community- aupair_families, for-you guessed it- host families of au pairs! Anyone with kids who might want to consider the au pair program is welcome to join, but I'm really hoping to get other current (and past) host families in there. We need to talk! Au pairs are also welcome, but must stick to the host family-relationship focus or suffer my wrath, bwahahahahaaaa!
Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
8:16 am
oh paige you devil- a quick update
I don't have much time to write so just a quick update because there's something going on with Paige that I may not have written about.

She is not napping, and she really needs to. I am still sort of trying to get her to nap, but trying hard not to fight her because that goes nowhere.

Along with this no-napping thing, is a personality shift. Now I realize how easygoing and mellow she has been all along, because right now she is anything but. She is getting into stuff she never cared about. Climbing the furniture. Saying 'no' to everything. Running away from me on the street, in stores, etc. This girl used to *insist* on holding my hand everywhere, and if we weren't holding hands she was always right by my side. What in tarnation is going on? She is acting like an 18 month old with a 32 month olds' physical abilities and understanding of the world. It's bad! I can't go out with her anymore, because I'm not sure if she'll destroy stuff or ever make it back into the car.

This is going to need a shift in my parenting. I have been soooo hands off until now, because Paige has just been so good about everything. At the same time, I have to not crack down too hard on her autonomy, because that's what this is all about. What I mean is, there are limits, but I don't need to start reflexively setting limits that are too tight, just because I'm afraid of what she might do if I give her an inch. I don't want to be one of those parents who controls their child's every movement. I find that really disturbing. But now I understand where it comes from. I never had that impulse, because I knew that Paige wasn't reckless. But now she kind of is, and I think it has to do with sleep deprivation. And maybe being almost 3.
Thursday, September 29th, 2011
8:10 pm
sleep arrangements
I'm cross posting from attached parents community:

I feel like I have a complicated situation, and I need some advice.

I have two daughters- a 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old baby. Currently, the toddler sleeps in her own toddler bed in her own room. No problem. The baby sleeps in our room. We have a cosleeper, which she used to sleep in more than not, but lately she only sleeps in our bed. Any time I try to nurse her down and put her in the cosleeper, she wakes up. I keep trying and she keeps waking up, so eventually I just nurse her down in our bed, and then I can walk away for a while. I don't really mind the cosleeping that much, but there are some problems with it- it can't continue. My husband generally goes to sleep before I do, and whenever he goes into our room and gets into bed the baby wakes up, and the only way to get her back down is for me to nurse her down. So I have to interrupt whatever I'm doing, etc. My husband goes to bed much earlier than me because he gets up super early to row. At least he doesn't usually wake me or the baby in the morning. My husband misses reading in bed before sleep- I kind of do too. More than that I miss being able to chat and cuddle and maybe once in a while do something a little more than that in bed with my husband, kwim? At the moment intimacy isn't too much of an issue- we have a house to ourselves, with an unoccupied guest room upstairs. However, I'm going back to work soon and we plan to host an au pair- goodbye guest room romance, or any other room in the house that isn't our private bedroom.

Another issue is that baby girl has just started to get more mobile, and she fell off the bed for the first time today. She didn't get hurt, because she fell onto a pillow (we think) and rolled off onto her back. She barely cried. But it's scary, and now I'm worried. The crazy thing is, she fell off my husband's side of the bed, all the way on the other side of the cosleeper. The older girl never went that far as a baby! This one is feisty. I could hear her awake on the baby monitor, but I didn't go in because she sounded happy- now I know she was happy because she was crawling around on our bed. Now I have to go in there the second she wakes up- not a huge issue, but it's something.

So I'm thinking about what our next move will be... initially I was thinking about moving the cosleeper into the big girl's room and using it as the baby's crib (we did this with DD1 at the same age). I'll get some kind of chair to nurse her down in (part of my current problem is that I'm trying to nurse her down in my lap while sitting on the edge of the bed- not comfortable, so maybe I try to transfer her too soon and give up too easily IDK). The thought was she would sleep the beginning of the night in the crib in her sister's room, and then I'd bring her into our bed after the first wake-up. I sort of like this plan, except that I'm not confident I'll ever be able to transfer her in her sleep again. I just see hours and hours of trying to get her to bed in my future, and I'm not liking it. I think she'll just end up in our bed at the beginning of every night, and then what's the point? Although, I must say that DD1 went through a similar thing at this age, and some nights I just gave up and put her in our bed- we were living in a different place, and putting her in our bed was a bigger sacrifice because we basically lived in a big wide open studio where her crib was in the only closed off space- if she was in our bed and we were awake, we couldn't do ANYTHING- the kitchen was in the same room, etc. We had to hide in my husband's office, which was really a basement shop with a furnace and everything.

Now I'm thinking, maybe we'll ditch the cosleeper, and get the baby some kind of mattress we can put on the floor in the toddler's room. I know I heard about someone doing this before. I could lie down with her and nurse her down to sleep, then leave. And not worry about her rolling off. And if she wakes up, I can either bring her to our bed or stay with her, depending on how things are going (whichever gets us the most sleep). The issues with this: she could potentially be on the loose in the bedroom. I don't think she would wake up DD1, we have all shared a room before on vacation and it takes A LOT to wake up DD1 once she's asleep. DD1 could wake her up, but DD1 generally sleeps through the night (only since she's 2 years old, trust me do not be jealous). There's also the concern that DD1 would mess with the baby, but I don't think she will- definitely not while the baby is sleeping. We have the fact that this is a loud baby on our side, and DD1 does not want to make her cry.

Also, ftr DD1's room is right next to our's. We can hear her sighing in the middle of the night, and we will still have to whisper. But it will be better, I think. I hope.

Another possibility, that I don't know if my husband would agree with but I'll throw out here and see what you all think: ditch the cosleeper, put our mattress on the floor, and get a little mattress to go on the floor next to our's for Persephone. That way there aren't any concerns about rolling around, and I can keep her in her own space. Of course, in the middle of the night Persephone really seeks me out and wants to sleep curled up right in my armpit, so this might not help matters. And it does nothing for our intimacy issues. We could also get a king sized mattress, but space is not currently a problem- it's the constant room sharing. DH and I used to sleep on a full-sized futon mattress on the floor, before we had kids. It was cozy, we were fine with it. We're tall but lean people.

Does any of this make sense? Is there an option I'm forgetting? What do you all do?
Monday, November 1st, 2010
10:18 pm
Writer's Block: You can't take that away from me!
If you had to go an entire week without TV, music, or your mobile phone, which would you choose, and why?

I had to do this one because it's too funny. I routinely and regularly go without all 3 for weeks at a time. I guess I listen to music almost every day but it's not really something I must have.

Now take away my internet access or my computer, and I'll be a little sad.
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
10:49 am
karate in seattle
I know someone on my f-list once told me there's a really good dojo somewhere in/near Crown Hill/Ballard in Seattle. Rather than look back in my memories, I'm asking in case that person happens to notice this post! I'll also do some google searching.

I'm thinking about trying to get back into karate rather than rowing for a while. The combination of inconsistent sleep and disappointing season with Lake Washington makes me think I should take time off from rowing for a year or two. But I still need a somewhat organized activity, and I used to love my karate dojo in NYC. If I could find one as good as Shorin Ryu USA I'd be so happy. It would have to have flexible class times/days and really good instructors, and not be tournament or kumite (fighting)-based. I want lots of kata, lots of fitness & strength training, and good people. And some connection to tradition would be nice. I've tried just going to aerobics classes and that sort of thing but it just doesn't motivate me. I can run on occasion but I need something more than that.

It's too bad the rowing isn't working out.. but it just doesn't seem worth it. I love rowing, but the only way this will work is if I take up training in the single, or if the sweep program at LWRC suddenly improves. There are some amazing rowers and coaches but the whole dang thing is just FUBAR because the idiot coaches are in charge. And switching off mornings with Damon and sometimes having to skip practice because I didn't sleep... it all doesn't add up. I would rather let Damon have all the mornings he wants if I can start doing karate.

I haven't slept in 3 days. Just thought I'd mention that. And I have to go into work for a couple of hours today (my day off) because there's stuff that has to get done. Sucky.
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
12:00 pm
crossing fingers for sleep
Paige slept from 8pm until 5am last night, and then after I nursed her down she slept until 8am.

A few more nights of that and I'll be back to normal, phew. For the past week she's been getting up around 12-1 and then 4-5, which isn't bad. I can live with it. Yay.
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
9:20 pm
amazing story
This story - http://fiercemamas.blogspot.com/2009/10/saving-my-baby.html - made me feel a lot better. Wow.
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
7:50 am
parenting: what would you do?
Someone posted this story to a parenting email list I read... it's really interesting to me, since I haven't been around 6 year olds at all lately I'm not sure how I feel about what the writer did. What do you think?

story beneath the cutCollapse )
Thursday, October 1st, 2009
2:27 pm
the F word

We haven't gone there yet, and we don't really want to. But we may do it. I guess at the current rate of expressed breastmilk consumption and production we will have to go there. I need to face that fact, and either pump more or resign myself to Paige getting a couple bottles of formula a week. There is nothing wrong with my supply, I just don't take enough time to pump. I pump twice when I'm at work, and I get anywhere from 4 to 8 oz per session. If I pumped a third time I'd probably have enough, but then I'd have to stay at work later to get my work done, and then I'd get less time with Paige, which seems to defeat the purpose. I also pump before I leave the house to row, which is 2-3 times per week, and get 3-5 oz.

I have my big Medela pump in style at work, and I don't want to cart it back and forth. So I leave it there, and use a manual pump at home. Having an electric at home wouldn't help, because usually when I pump at home it's a quick thing before the baby wakes up or I have to leave.

Part of the problem is that Paige is not just getting bottles when I'm at work, but also when I row. So I really just need to pump more. But I feel like I'm doing all I can, and I don't really want to stress too much about this. That's not the point.

I guess a bottle of formula once in a while won't be a big deal.. right? I'm nursing her whenever I'm with her. I know people who can't pump at work at all, and they just have to nurse when they are with their babies and do formula the rest of the time. My mother started supplementing me with formula when I was around 4 weeks old.. by the time I was Paige's age I think I only got breastmilk about once a day.

Paige will probably be 8 months old when she gets her first bottle of formula, in a couple of weeks. She's already sort of eating solids. I guess it's not a big deal. I just didn't really plan to do this!
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
8:01 pm
it gets closer and closer
I went into the office today for an in-person interview, and it went really well. I like the executive director. I think she likes me. I don't want to say too much, but this looks really good.

When I came home, Paige wasn't doing too well. She was overtired because she didn't get her nap in this morning, and she was refusing the bottle from Damon. She wasn't totally freaked out or crying inconsolably, but she needed all of Damon's attention in distracting her so that she wouldn't cry. She was fine once I nursed her down to nap, but that wasn't anything Damon could help with. If I get this job he's going to have a couple of months of quality time with Paige until he starts working (likely teaching at the end of Sept), so we're going to have to figure out how to make her happy without the boob. We haven't been diligent about keeping her used to the bottle. She used to be fine with it, but we haven't given her a bottle in more than a month. We're going to try some bottle-reintroduction methods, and if that doesn't work maybe she'll take a sippy cup. She won't starve... but she might have a tough adjustment.

I'm really glad this is a 20-hour per week job. I couldn't go to work full-time right now, I just couldn't.
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
3:19 pm
pissy about chicken
I'm pissed off because I've ruined a chicken dish twice in a row.. didn't cook the chicken thoroughly. Grr! Different recipes and techniques both times, now I think I need to read up on chicken or something like that. This is partly why I was a vegetarian for so long- cooking meat scares me!

It's weird, I'm actually disproportionately mad and upset about this chicken thing. I feel like I could become depressed over it. I'm not really feeling depressed, just preoccupied. I guess I could go out and buy some more chicken, and just cook the hell out of it. The problem is I got chicken thighs with bone. Something boneless would have been much easier! I've cooked whole chickens (baked) before and they've been fine. That was a while ago though. The last time I cooked a whole chicken, it ended up somewhat overcooked. But at least it was edible.

If anyone has any good chicken recipes, preferably very detailed for people with limited cooking knowledge, I would love to see them. I need to cook something good or this is going to eat away at me! I need a little ego boost.

I really need to get a job, because I suck at this domestic stuff.
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
9:50 pm
first pediatrician visit
today we went to the pediatrician for the first time, because up until 6 weeks the midwives were doing the newborn evaluations. Paige weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz, in the 5th percentile (up from <1% at birth). Her length was 22 1/4 in, 50th percentile (also up from 15th percentile at birth). I felt pretty good about these numbers, at 8 weeks, for such a tiny baby. But the doc was just a wee concerned. Not enough to suggest any changes, she just wants to see her again in a month (otherwise it would be two months). She did suggest that I add more healthy fats to my diet- she thinks I've lost too much weight. I told her that I'm within 5 lbs of my pre-preggo weight. But I'm also a lot flabbier than I was pre-preggo, when I was in tip-top shape. Also I don't think the doc understood when I told her that Damon is an ectomorph- he's 5 inches taller than me and currently about 10 lbs lighter than me. And he's got a lot of lean muscle on his frame- just practically no fat. I think that's part of the reason for Paige's long leanness. If she's lucky she'll be lean like her dad but have a little more muscle-building capacity like her mom. But whatever she'll be, she'll be! I'm just fantasizing about her potential future erg score, haha.

Today was a rough day overall.. we went to mommy group before the doctor and had to leave early. while we were there Paige had a poop blowout that trickled down her leg and out her pants, and all over me! I didn't notice it at first but like 3 different moms pointed it out. how embarrassing. also i forgot to bring a change of clothes for paige, so i had to borrow a onesie from the woman who hosted the group. next week i host so i don't have to worry about forgetting to give back the onesie.

I feel bad for paige the last couple of days. every time she gets cozy and starts to take a real serious nap we've had to go somewhere. actually yesterday i let her sleep for about an hour before getting her up to go on the hike. she was sort of awake, but i bet she would have slept for another hour. and she did sleep well in the moby on the hike. but today she was sleeping again when it was time to go, and i couldn't just wait because we had set times for things. and when she pooped she got poop all over the ergo (didn't bring the moby) so i couldn't wear her to sleep. she kept falling asleep and waking up or being woken up. the last time was at the doctor's office. poor kid.

tomorrow i'm supposed to go help out with preparing for the seder at the rabbi's house. if paige is sleeping when it's time to go i'll just wait, and call ahead to tell them i'll be late. i'm not sacrificing my kid's sleep anymore than i have to!

this evening was sort of better than last night, so far. sort of. i'm not sure i'm doing it right!
Friday, March 20th, 2009
2:15 pm
Hey guess what? I'm a WAHM (work at home mom)! I put an ad on craigslist a few days ago to get proofreading/copyediting jobs, and I got a response within a couple of days. A professor of periodontics wants me to help with her manuscript by putting her references into Endnote. It just so happens that I did exactly that for a professor when I was in grad school 6 years ago. She probably found me by doing a search on "endnote" - good thing I mentioned that in my ad! I'm not charging very much.. but I figure I'll take a few jobs and see how things are going, then increase my rate if I think I can. I don't know how many hours a day I'll be able to work with Paige, but I've probably got a few. She sleeps very well in the Moby wrap, so I can hold her and type at the same time.

I'm excited about this. I like earning some money.
Friday, March 6th, 2009
5:15 pm
I am very thankful for kellymom.com right now. Everything that is happening is normal. I don't really need to change anything I'm doing or eating. Yay, kellymom!

I recommend that website for anyone with a baby or one on the way. It's mainly about breastfeeding, but it has a lot more.
Saturday, January 31st, 2009
2:49 pm
homebirth is not about bravery
This is from raving_liberal. I agree with her 100%, but I could not have said it better myself. Also, I'm a little less activist than she is, but not out of lack of conviction. Mostly out of a lack of experience. I'm really excited about my upcoming homebirth. We've been doing a lot of planning, we're ready. It will be so nice to have the baby and be home, have no pressure about hospital policies, not have to listen to bleeping machines, not be hooked up to anything, no needles (unless I need stitches when it's over), not have anyone telling me what to do, not have to go anywhere, have the baby put to my breast immediately. No fighting with nurses or doctors. I'll have a midwife and her assistant and my husband- that's it. I'm a private person, birth is private. I'm also a physically active person, and no one is going to tell me where to sit or lie down. I'm a water person, and I would like to labor in the tub, possibly birth in the tub. I don't like fighting the system, so I'll stay home from the system.

Anyway, here's the amazing essay from raving_liberal on why having a homebirth isn't brave, it's just smart.

Read more...Collapse )
Friday, December 12th, 2008
4:37 pm
peace corps opening in seattle
This always freaking happens. There's actually a decent job opening with the Peace Corps office in Seattle. It's a full-time, semi-permanent position (5 years is as permanent as it gets with any PC position), working as a public affairs officer for PC. I don't know if I really qualify for it, but I'm pretty sure I could do it. I should apply, because it would probably take them months to fill it (at least). And I think it would be pretty cool to work for PC. And I could get paid about what I'm getting now. And all my leave would transfer, which would be really really nice. I have a lot of sick leave. Not to mention my retirement stuff, though that's like, "whatever."

My friend Brooke, in Seattle, alerted me to this opening today. And last night I happened to go to a colleague's holiday party, and happened to meet her former colleague who now works at Peace Corps HQ in DC. And she said she could hook me up with her friend at PC/Seattle. So it seems a bit fated.. I could contact this woman and ask her to put me in touch with her friend, so I can ask her more about this position. I should do that before I fill out the application, so I can find out what they're actually looking for.

The application period closes Jan 2nd, so I could apply sometime in the next two weeks.

It would be funny if I got a job working for Peace Corps in Seattle. Just funny.

I know it's weird, but I would really love to work for PC, esp in the new administration. How cool to work for PC in Seattle!
Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
2:47 pm
another reason I'm glad to be planning a homebirth
This couple got a ticket for driving in the service lane to get around bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way to the hospital. Not only that, but the police officer was a jerk to them.

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
10:18 pm
oh no
I just discovered etsy.com. More specifically, I discovered the baby stuff on there. Oh no! It's really super cute stuff. Why is this an "oh no?" Because I'm about to leave my job and be poor, and have no money for shopping.

Oh no!

Well, I guess my baby would rather have me home with him/her and not have all kinds of cute homemade stuff that I bought online, then have me working and able to afford to buy all kinds of supercute homemade stuff, but not home. Right. Yah.
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